- We've been waiting for two hours. - l'm telling you she'll be here.
You should have asked for her address. That would have been easier.
There she is. Don't look.
The blonde?
Yes. Don't look, I said.
- She's not bad. - Let's go.
- What are you doing? - We're going.
- Going where? - To Paris.
For three months you've talked about Florence Arnaud! We drove 500 km...
and you don't even talk to her. - I never intended to.
- I wanted to see her. Well, I saw her. - He's crazy, completely crazy.
For the next time, learn to drive. Buy a car, ok?
Did you look at her? If you did, you'd know I don't stand a chance.
Not if you act like this. I'm glad you're not always in love.
- I'm in love, I'm confused. - You're getting on my nerves.
- Where're you going?! - Psycho!
- You weren't looking. - Give me a break.
DOOR ON THE LEFT AS YOU LEAVE THE ELEVATOR
Excuse me.
What I like in your work is the contrast between playfulness...
and the technique. I really appreciate...
the poetry it oozes. Naive at first glance and...
Let me introduce you to the painter.
You know him, of course? - Yes, really great.
- Thanks. - I love it. ls it worth a fortune?
- He doesn't know what his paintings cost. - You don't know artists well.
- What are you doing here? - Oh, bastard! We've waited for you.
What is this? Since when do you know Florence?
Florence and I have become good friends.
Don't look like that. I've been promoting you to her.
But I never asked you to. I hate that. I hope...
you didn't tell her about our... - Our trip to Deauville?
Of course I did. She was confused. Stop the nonsense. She likes you.
She said you're cute. Do you know what else she said?
"It's been a long time someone has been in love with me in this way."
- Shall I get some drinks? - Yes, please.
- Champagne? - Yes.
I'll be back to see your paintings, because I hate varnishing days.
Between you and me, I hate them too. Especially my own.
- Yann, do you know what I'd like? - No.
- To visit your studio. - Really?
Yes, I'd like to see how you work.
- If you don't mind, of course. - No, but right now...
- You're very busy, I guess. - l'm preparing the New York exhibition.
There's no hurry.
When you'll have time. If you don't mind.
- Not at all. You're kidding. - No. I can see it's inconvenient.
- Tomorrow at 5, does that suit you? - Tomorrow?
But tomorrow I can't.
Be a bit more careful!
Excuse me. He doesn't have an erection.
- Boris, that's enough. - Just checking. No need to...
make a big deal of it. - Give me your glass.
- You've been drinking, Boris. - l'm having a bit of fun.
We're going.
I'm coming.
Are you coming, Eva?
Where do you think you are?
Hurry up.
Florence.
- Nice friend you have. - He's my neighbor.
- He won't be invited again. - Have you seen Florence?
Eva, don't be stupid.
Come, let's go home. That guy was standing too close to you.
- That was off. Shit! - What did you do?
What's wrong with you? Where's he going?
Eva, stop!
Come out or I'll destroy it. What do you want?
- I want to go home. - So do I. Eva, come out!
- I have to work tomorrow morning. - I work too.
You've damaged my car. We need the police.
Come, let's go home. Eva, listen.
- Be nice. - l'm going to Cathie's.
- I warned you. We're history. - You can't always torture me!
- I love you! - Sir, please be friendly.
- But I love you, Eva, I love you! - You seem more reasonable...
than your friend. My wife's waiting. - I don't care. It's over.
- Sir! - You're getting on my nerves.
If you want to go, make sure she goes home with me.
- What do you want me to do? - Tell her l love her...
and that I can't live without her. - He says he can't live without you.
- Better than that, Paulo! - What?
- With feeling. - He loves you. He can't live...
without you. Do it for me. - Alright, but I'm warning him...
I'm packing my bags and going to Cathie! - She's going home to pack her bags.
- She'll stay at Cathie's! - Alright, baby, alright.
Come, let's go.
- You don't have to make a scene. - You don't have to make a scene.
Shut up! Mind your own business.
- Speak after the beep. - Oh, you're not home.
Well, I've been thinking. I'll come tomorrow at 5 pm...
to see your studio as you so kindly suggested.
I'd love to see your more recent work.
Tomorrow's Thursday the 17th, right?
By the way, this is Florence Arnaud speaking.
- Good night, Yann. - Hello, Florence!
- I hope I didn't do something stupid. - What's the risk?
- He won't rape you. Not the type. - Do you know why I like him?
Don't laugh, Natascha. He's pure.
- I'm keeping a straight face. - He lives on another planet.
- Really. - He must be the Little Prince.
Instead ofjumping you, he'll ask you to draw him a sheep.
Good evening.
I never see your husband without his briefcase.
He just had a business dinner.
- Eva, stop the comedy! - You won't achieve anything with this.
Let's calm down and talk. I'm not an animal, talk to me.
- Where are you going? - To get some air, is that allowed?
Would you have a cigarette?
- I'm sorry about earlier. - Your friend's not exactly...
the light of the party. - What are you doing there?
- Come here! - Let me go or I'll scream, Boris.
I don't care! You stay out of it.
Let go of him, I said.
A 5 minute break, ok? How do I look?
Don't be like that. I don't have time.
I love to watch you dance, but it's not the right moment.
You know I think you're the new Josephine Baker?
You should do a Josephine Baker song. For your gala nights.
- The costume would look very good on you. - And if it fails, I can eat the bananas.
Come on, be nice. How do I look? It's new.
- Tell me honestly. - You look very good.
Why are you nervous? It's not the first time you're dating a woman.
- Yes, but Florence is special. - She must be the queen of England.
You're joking. I'll tell her to get undressed right away.
Rue Lauzier, please.
- I haven't done your room! - That's ok, it's too late.
It'll go well, you'll see. Good luck.
What did she do?
Don't I get a kiss?
I'm late.
You're making me wet.
I thought you were late.
What are you doing? Come back. What if someone comes?
You know I don't like that.
Close that door!
Boris! Boris! Your briefcase!
You're kidding.
Shit!
- Hello. - Hello.
My door closed on me and the key's on the inside.
I stepped out to call Boris, because he forgot his briefcase...
and the wind made my door slam. Could I use your phone?
- I need to call a locksmith. - No, that's not possible.
- Why? - Listen, I'm expecting someone.
- You won't leave me outside like this? - Yes, I will. If the person I'm expecting...
sees you like this, I don't know...
if she'd like that. - Well, that sucks!
What am I going to do? This place doesn't even have a janitor.
- Is your window open? - Yes.
I'll go in through the window and I'll open the door for you.
- Isn't that dangerous? - No, no.
Let me in for two seconds. It's crazy. Someone might come.
Alright then. There's a nightgown there if you like.
- Be careful. - Don't worry.
Shit.
- Can I help? - No, I'm alright.
Wait.
Are you crazy screaming like that?
You almost made us fall.
Try to grab the railing and let go of me.
Try to slowly reach the chair. Careful.
- What's happening? - Oh, terrible! I've got a cramp!
- Are you alright? - Yes, I'm alright.
- Are you sure? - Yes, yes. It's ok. Oh!
I'll open the door. Oh, this hurts!
Hey, telephone.
- Hello! Yes! - ls this Yann Ducoudray's number?
Yes, do you want to talk to him? I'll pull something on and I'll get him.
- I won't be a second. - No, that's alright. Thanks.
Oops, I think I did something stupid.
What's he doing?
What did she do?
She scratched me.
Boris!
Boris, listen! It's not what you think.
I swear! Boris, are you there?
What did you do to get him in this state?
- Me? He attacked me! - You should have explained.
- He didn't give me the chance! - Boris?
- And Florence is coming! - I doubt that.
- I'd be surprised if she came. - What do you know about that?
- She called earlier. - Florence called?
- She didn't seem happy. - I don't understand a word.
- Why didn't she seem happy? - I asked her to wait while...
I put something on. - So you told her you were naked.
Well, I was!
- I'm sorry. I didn't do it on purpose. - Go away, please.
- Leave. - I want to...
but I can't open the door.
Boris?
Boris, can I explain what happened?
- Hello? - Hello?
- Florence! - Did your girlfriend tell you...
that I called earlier? - She's not my girlfriend.
- She was your maid then. - Florence, it's a misunderstanding.
- Where are you? - At the tobacconist's downstairs.
Come up right away then. Please, Florence!
It's a crazy story. I'll explain. I assure you...
we'll have a laugh about it. I have to talk to you.
- Florence, are you there? - Yes.
Florence, come on. Do you want me to come down?
I'm coming.
Boris, you have to believe me. I swear it's true.
- This whole thing's ridiculous. - Get out.
Help me. Go away.
- Oh no! Where are you going? - Boris kicked me out.
- It's because of you. - This is not going to start again!
- Get out! - At least let me get dressed.
No way, get lost!
- Where do you want me to go like this? - I don't care.
I can't even pay a taxi.
Here.
You're a disgrace.
Florence! Florence!
I'm sorry.
I'll talk to your friend. He can't do this.
He can't throw you out for that. He's human after all.
Don't worry. It'll be alright.
Can't we talk calmly for 2 minutes?
Let me explain. Florence! What's...
Go inside, hurry! Do as I say.
- Good, your girlfriend's still here. - She's not my girlfriend!
- It's not the moment for a jealous scene. - Listen, I'm sorry...
but I need to see what's going on there. - Help me, buddy.
- I don't want to hurt you, 0k? - Yes.
- The less I see you, the better. - Alright. I'll help you.
- What are you doing? Are you coming? - I can't, don't you see?
- Let go of him! - Did you hear? You have to let go.
Hurry up!
- Thanks. - Come!
- I've put her suitcases in your room. - I see.
- Open the bottle. - The bottle.
- The champagne bottle. - Alright.
Hurry up.
Sit down.
- What's your girlfriend's name? - She's not my girlfriend!
- What's your name? - Eva, madam.
- My name's Florence. ls it open? - Almost.
- Doorbell. It doesn't stop. - lt's my husband.
- What? - I almost walked into him when I left.
- Open the door for him. - Hide!
No, with men offense is the best defense.
Go!
Darling? What are you doing here?
- I was going to ask you that. - I wanted to surprise you.
I'm buying a painting from Yann for your birthday.
The surprise is ruined. But what about you?
- Me? - What are you doing here?
The same as you. I also wanted to buy a painting.
- It must be my lucky day. - Do you want some champagne?
- He loves it. - Ah yes, the champagne.
Eva, Yann's friend. André, my husband.
- Nice to meet you. - Hello.
- Eva was posing for Yann when I arrived. - There's not much left.
That's alright. Can l?
- May l? - Yes, of course.
I don't go for a realistic resemblance.
- It's got something. - When I paint an object...
I always try to get inspiration from female nudity.
So I try to express the... how shall I put it...
the sensuality of my model. - I understand.
Darling.
- Eva, what's going on? - Eva just lost someone.
- A parent? - No. Yes. Almost.
- Her guru. - Her guru?
His Holiness Ravishanadradraran. Not easy to say. He's a Hindu.
- I hope he didn't suffer. - Death was instant. The heart.
- Heart attack? - A knife. They found...
his body in his cell. - That's horrible!
- A crime like that in a monastery. - No, it was a cell in San-Quentin.
He was stabbed to death by a Puerto Rican dealer. They disagreed about...
who got how much of the profits. - Was he in jail for drug trafficking?
Oh no. I mean tax fraud.
He's been buried at his ranch in Hamburg, Wisconsin.
A beautiful funeral. The entire town was there.
He owned the town, by the way. He was like a father to Eva.
Right, dear? Be strong. His Holiness left her his Rolls.
One of his Rolls. He had 25 of them. For Eva, it's the thought that counts.
She doesn't drive. My darling.
Only his body died. His ideas are still alive.
That's what's important, isn't it? He was a great mystic.
The doorbell again! It doesn't stop.
As if we're having a party!
She forgot this.
Thanks, buddy.
That was my neighbor, returning a few things...
he borrowed this morning. - He returned your toothbrush.
- He also returned your mascara. - Yes, and my Guerlain foundation.
That's the charm of a small building. You can always borrow from a neighbor.
- Again! It never stops! Great! - lt's a very social place.
- The wind closed the door. - You didn't believe me earlier!
- What do I do now? I don't have a key. - Go via the balcony, like he did.
I'll let you work. Goodbye, madam.
- Are you staying? - No, I'm leaving too.
- Thanks. Bye, Eva. - Aren't you taking the painting...
that you picked? - No, I ordered one from Yann.
He promised to paint it before your birthday.
Will it be a portrait of my wife as a washing machine or a bicycle pump?
I won't tell you. It'll be a surprise.
- We should invite you both for dinner. - That's nice of you.
- Does Friday evening suit you? - Yes. Right, darling?
Excuse me. Sorry.
What did you do to your hand?
Are you hurt?
My wife gets along well with our neighbor. They're good friends.
- Do you believe me now? - I don't know.
I don't know anymore.
- Agreed? We'll be expecting you. - Thank you. Very nice of you.
You're really crazy.
They love each other.
Oh no!
- Can't we have peace for 5 minutes? - But you constantly ring my doorbell.
- What do you want? - The wind slammed my door shut.
I wanted to enter my house via your balcony, if that's not too much to ask.
- Alright, be quick. - Thanks!
There's no privacy in this house.
These things only happen to me.
It doesn't stop, great!
I'm sorry to bother you again, but I left my suitcases here.
Don't say a word. I understand. Here.
- But that's a pistol! - Yes, yes. Wait.
Go ahead. Aim for the heart. Shoot.
- Are you crazy? - You want to destroy me. Finish the job.
- Put an end to my suffering. Shoot. - That's enough. Take this back.
I hate weapons. You two are driving me crazy!
- Florence! - No, Eva. Don't do it. Calm down!
- But I am calm. - Listen to me, alright?
You're about to do something terrible. You're young.
- Eva, what are you doing? You're crazy. - Stay where you are. Don't move.
Listen, I've seen how badly he treats you.
- How badly he treats her? - Stay out of it.
No matter how he made you suffer and humiliated you...
- Suffer? Humiliated? - You can't be serious.
Shut up!
It's not worth it, is it? Give me that.
- Take it. - You're both out of your mind!
It was a joke. I was kidding. It's a lighter. Look.
My pistol. And it's loaded. Oh dear, my God!
You're completely insane, poor guy.
- You could have killed someone. - Could you go to the cupboard?
My lighter's there, wrapped up.
Give it to me, please.
- Here. - This is my lighter.
I swapped the lighter and the pistol.
- Oh, God! - You're really out of it.
- The main thing is you're here. - Here.
But Florence, I don't understand. I saw you get into a cab.
Yes, I went around the block and then I came back...
because I wanted to talk to you, Yann. - I don't feel well.
- I feel dizzy. - Lie down.
Here, this will help.
Thanks. You're marvelous. I love you.
- Eva! - Not now. He doesn't feel well.
- Call a doctor. - No, it's mental.
- It'll go away in 2 minutes. - l'm feeling better.
- Yes. - Florence.
Let me explain...
- Hello, police? - Why is he calling the police?
- We told you it was nothing. Boris! - You've injured him!
- Boris! - Do you have a first-aid box?
- I'll get it. - They shot at me! I'm injured!
- Give me that and lie down. - 36, Rue Lauzier, 6th floor.
Near the elevator. Yes, hurry! Thanks.
Why are you looking at me like that? Stop looking at me like that.
- I don't understand. - What don't you understand?
What happened that made you want to shoot him?
Nothing happened. Look, it's nothing.
He was grazed by the bullet. He's been lucky.
- See, you're fine. - You didn't answer me.
- Answer what? - Why you wanted to shoot him.
She didn't want to shoot me. I made a stupid joke.
I'll tell you exactly what happened.
But after that you have to leave me alone. Alright?
This is the pistol that my father brought from Algeria.
As a gift. I sometimes use it on weekends with friends.
We shoot at empty cans. Bang! And this is an exact reproduction...
of this pistol, that a friend found in New York...
and he brought it back as a joke. That's it!
It looks like the original, but they're not the same.
When I pull the trigger, it goes off and it's a lighter.
Look.
My God!
- I got it wrong again. - Give me that. You're dangerous.
- Did he get me? - No, not this time.
- Are you sure? - Yes, I'm sure. You're fine, Boris.
Take him home. Please take him home.
Come, come!
I'll throw these horrible things out before it's too late.
What's with the bottle? Are you hiding bottles here? Are you crazy?
- So he treated you badly? When? - l'll explain but let go of me...
and stop drinking. - He humiliates you, makes you suffer?
- I'll explain that too. - Tell me the truth. I can handle it.
But I can't handle lies.
I'm losing the plot. I can't throw this in the garbage bin.
I'm warning you. Touch them again and I'll kill you.
What are you doing in that position?
I've decided to go into regression. This is the fetal position.
I'm in my mother's belly and nothing can happen to me.
Yann, I have to talk to you.
Do me a favor and come out of your mother's belly for 5 minutes.
No, they did that to me a few years ago. They won't do it again.
- I'm in a hurry. - Only because it's you.
- Yann, I came back... - Don't worry, I understand.
- I've behaved like an idiot. - I want to see you again.
- Please. Don't insist. - If you refuse to see me again...
- I warn you... I'll jump. That easy! - Stop acting like a child.
- This is not going to work. - I know.
You think "Every time I go to his place, there's a half naked girl...
who's refusing to leave, there's an attempted murder...
my husband drops in..." - You're not going to start again, Boris!
I wanted to ask you some questions!
Don't look like that. It's not worth it.
We'll see each other again. I'm sure we'll become friends.
- I don't want to be your friend. - That's not very nice.
Don't make fun of me, Florence.
Look behind you.
Calm down. We won't open the door. He'll go away.
- This must be the pistol. - Oh no, that's enough!
But I'm not going to use it. I'm going to scare him.
Maybe he'll leave us in peace for an hour or two.
Has there been an accident here?
- Yes, I made the call. - Where's the injured person?
He went to his own place. I was worried over nothing.
- It was only a scratch. - Was that the weapon?
- What happened? - I always carry a weapon.
I have a permit by the way.
And a friend gave me this as a gift.
It's an imitation of my pistol, except when I pull the trigger...
it turns out to be a lighter, do you see?
Shit! I don't get it.
Then this is the lighter.
- Who did he shoot this time? - This is the victim.
- This guy shot at me twice. - You know it was an accident.
- Wait, let me explain. - Listen to this, it's worth it.
This is a pistol that my dad brought me from Algeria, as a gift.
Sometimes I use it to shoot at cans with friends.
- Do you understand? - Continue.
And this is the lighter that a friend brought for me from New York.
- That's a pistol! - But I thought it was a lighter.
I forgot to tell you, it's a lighter in the shape of a pistol.
My friend brought it from Algeria.
No, I mean from New York.
- I thought this was the lighter. - lt's a pistol. You used it just now.
But I thought it was a lighter.
- What lighter? - That his friend brought from New York.
- I don't understand it. - Because you interrupt me all the time.
- Just let me finish. - Go ahead.
I'll continue. This was the lighter my clad brought from Algeria and...
that I shoot at cans with. - You shoot at cans with a lighter?
- No, with a pistol of course. - But that's what you just said.
He means the pistol. The pistol that your father brought from Algeria.
Exactly, it's clear. I'll continue. This is the lighter...
that my dad brought from New York. No, I mean...
that my friend brought from Algeria. - No, from New York.
- That's it! ls that clear? - Very clear.
- 5 minutes ago this lady rang my bell. - I had forgotten my suitcases.
- Which suitcases? - The ones that I hid in the room.
- Why did you hide them? - Because my husband arrived.
- I don't understand. - Because I thought...
that this gentleman was... - Was the lover of my wife. Say it!
- So you're his lover. - No, she's his lover.
Stop it. Shut up. Please let me speak.
- Don't use that tone! Calm down. - Listen.
How can I explain anything if you're talking all the time?
Go ahead then.
5 minutes ago she rang my doorbell and I gave her the lighter... no, the pistol.
- That your father brought from Algeria. - Yes! Thinking it was the lighter.
- That your friend brought from New York. - And I asked her to shoot me.
- Shoot you? - Yes, I was joking.
You asked her to shoot you with a 7.65, as a joke?
- Yes, I admit... - But she did shoot at him?
- No, I shot at him! - See? He admits it. He admits it!
What happened is that he and she thought it was a revolver.
And it really was a revolver. But I thought it was the lighter.
I took the revolver and to prove it was the lighter, I pulled the trigger.
But since it was the revolver, it went off and...
lightly injured him. ls that clear? - Very clear.
- Give me a break, you. - Chief, let's not...
Don't pay any attention to him. He just came out of police school.
We'll deal with this differently. Please, be quiet.
I'm asking the questions, alright? Otherwise we'll never solve this.
We'll try to clear this up. We'll start from the beginning.
Hands up! Let go of me. Are you crazy?
- Let him go, please. He's a friend. - I was only joking.
- You make strange jokes around here. - lt's stupid, I admit.
- What's happening? - l'll explain. Let go of him, please.
- What do I do, chief? - Let go of him.
- Since it's a friend. Are you hurt? - No, no.
- Put that away. We're not cowboys. - Are you alright?
- Yes, thanks. - You made quite an entrance.
- You're crazy to act like this. - l'm sorry. It's really ridiculous.
- That's my lighter! - Yes, that's your lighter.
He forgot it last Sunday. It's a fake pistol.
- It's really a lighter. - Hey, point somewhere else.
- There's no danger, look. - Yeah, well...
- Look. - My lighter. I found my lighter!
- You should get rid of it quickly. - Tell me what's going on.
Wait, chief. I think I've understood.
- Is this your pistol? - Yes.
And you like to shoot at cans in the weekend.
- That's true. - And you brought a lighter...
from New York that's an exact replica of these 2 pistols?
- Yes, I gave him the stupid gift. - Well, it's simple.
He made a mistake. He took your pistol, thinking it was his lighter.
- Exactly. How do you know all that? - Simple deduction.
- You're fantastic, seriously. - That kid's a genius.
We're going. We've wasted too much time on these types already.
What if he continues to shoot at me by mistake, every 5 minutes?
- Because that's structural with him. - If it's accidental...
we can't do anything. - And what if he kills me?
- By mistake, of course. - Then we can arrest him...
for involuntary manslaughter. - That's good to know, at least.
You're really starting to piss me off.
I'll be going too. Bye, dear.
Don't feel obliged to have dinner with us on Friday, with Yann.
- I'll find an excuse for my husband. - Her husband invited the two of you!
- I'm getting fed up with you! - So you two are official now?
- Let go of me, Boris, let go of me! - Where are you going?
- I'm getting my suitcases. - Make yourself at home!
- Aren't you staying, Florence? - lt's been emotional enough for one day.
- Will I see you again? - You're coming for dinner on Friday.
- I'll take you home. - No, I'll get a cab.
- I'll drop you off. It's on my way. - You don't know where I'm going.
No, but I know it's on my way.
- Sure? Don't you want... - You had a difficult afternoon.
- Better get some rest. - She's right.
Have a good rest.
I saw him leave while getting dressed. While you were leaving via the balcony.
- I saw you! - Boris, I'm leaving you.
It's the only solution. This can't go on.
That's too easy. You won't leave before you've told me everything.
- Let me pass, Boris. - No.
That's unbelievable. I must be dreaming.
- Boris, open that door. - First we talk.
- We've said everything there is to say. - Open that door, for Christ's sake!
- Leave me in peace. Go to your own place. - This is his own place.
- I don't care. - He's nuts.
Bloody hell, open the door!
I've parked a bit further.
Maybe a drink would do you good.
Yes, please.
I need to relax a bit.
You're not very nice to my friend.
Your friend's charming, but his life's a bit too turbulent for my taste.
- Do you know what I mean? - Yann? Are you kidding?
- Nobody else has such a calm life. - l'm warning you, idiot!
I'll call the cops! Do you hear me?
- Good timing, actually. Come in. - How nice.
And now leave or I'll throw you out!
Do you understand?
I'm warning you. I can destroy this whole place.
Boris, give me the key. I want to go.
- Wait! - I want to know the truth.
And if I tell you the truth...
will you leave me in peace forever? - You'll never hear about me again.
Alright, I'll tell you the truth. What exactly do you want to know?
- Everything. - About what?
- Don't take the piss out of me! - Ask questions.
- I'll answer. - When and how did it start with Eva?
- When did it start? - Yes.
- In July. - EarlyJuly?
- Exactly. Yes. - I knew it.
- I see. - How?
- How what? - How did it start?
- In the elevator. - In the elevator.
Yep.
- What happened? - We took the elevator together.
We were standing close to each other. I don't know what came over me.
She was standing against me. It was hot.
I could feel her breasts against my chest... her perfume...
- Do you want me to stop? - No, continue.
- This man likes to suffer. - Continue.
I took her in my arms and I kissed her. That's it.
- What happened then? - l'm fed up with this comedy!
Calm down, darling. He has the right to know. It's true, isn't it?
- You're drunk, too. - Did you make love after that?
In the elevator? Of course. It wasn't easy...
You know how small the elevator is.
But I did yoga for ten years. ls that enough? Can we stop?
- Did you see her after that? - All the time. As soon as you'd leave.
- How was she with you? - You mean... in bed?
An animal.
Your friend's strange.
Boris! Stop it, Boris!
This joke's going too far. I told you this nonsense because you forced me.
All he wants...
is to torture me and himself at the same time. He's crazy!
Don't provoke him. Stay where you are!
- I'm warning you, I'm getting angry. - I don't want to see you anymore, Boris!
- Listen to her! - l'm fed up, fed up!
It's been going on for years, but now it's over! It's over!
I'm sorry, but I'm calling the police.
- Yes, call the cops. - Do you know their number?
Right, call them! I'm fed up, asshole!
I left everything for him. I gave him everything!
- Say that to him! - I loved him like I've never...
loved a man! No woman ever loved the wayl loved him.
Hurry!
Why do you look at us like that?
- Do you think you're scaring me? - Quiet! Boris, please.
- Let's talk like reasonable people. - What do you want, Boris?
Do you want to know if I cheated on you with him? Listen well!
- She's crazy. Shut up! - Yes, I cheated with him.
The moment you turned your back. We made love for hours.
With you I never felt one tenth of what I felt with him.
He's great. He's fantastic. He's superman!
Boris!
- Help! Murder! Help! - What's happening?
- I don't know. I don't understand. - Those two never stop.
Boris, hey.
- What's happening? - I want peace.
- Leave me in peace. - What did you do to him?
Nothing. He's a bit out of it.
He's coming back. The whole neighborhood must have heard you.
I think it's alright.
You've hurt him. What have you done to him?
- You've hurt him! - That's enough. I'm fed up!
- Asshole! You've hurt Boris! - ldiots. You're both crazy!
Boris!
- What's going on? - lt's nothing.
- I'll explain. - He's crying.
He can't do that to me. This is very embarrassing.
- Boris, please stop crying. - Leave me be.
- Don't touch me. - Help me get him up.
Control yourself, buddy.
Work with us a bit.
- Don't touch me. Leave me be. - Stop it, he wants me.
- It's the first time I've seen him cry. - Just my luck.
- I'm exhausted. - Me too.
What happened? How did this come about?
If it wasn't for him, I'd kill you. Ancl then I'd kill myself.
Maybe that would be best for everybody.
I have to explain something to you.
You'll understand. Look at her well.
- Do you think she's a woman? - l'm not sure of anything anymore.
But at first sight, I'd say yes.
- Why, isn't she a woman? - No, for me, Eva's not a woman.
Eva's my island. She's my harbor. She's my house.
When she picked me up, there was nothing left of me.
She rebuilt me. As if she was my daddy.
I've never had anybody else in life.
- Your story's too sad. - She gave me the courage to paint.
- He was painting in secret, ashamed. - l've never understood it!
- But painting restores me. - He's a great artist.
That's true. It's very good what you do. Everybody says so.
- You're becoming a big name. - A big name of an idiot!
You have to keep one thing in mind. I'll never give up Eva.
- I'll try to get used to the idea. - So we have to find a solution.
- What do you suggest? - Who, me? About what?
- About Eva and you and me! - Don't start again!
Shut up. This is a discussion between men. Well?
Here's what I suggest: you go home with Eva.
I'll go on a trip tomorrow. Very far way.
To forget everything. When I come back...
I'll never ever look at her again.
I'll never talk to her again.
Not even to say hello. If that's not enough...
I'm prepared to move. I'll live on the other side of Paris.
If I can avoid having to emigrate to the United States...
I'd be very grateful. ls that acceptable?
No, it would never work. As soon as I'd turn my back...
she'd look you up and it would start again.
Have you heard how she talks about you? She's crazy about you.
What have you done to her?
Nothing, I swear. Let go of me!
What's your secret? The thing you do that makes all women...
crazy about you. ls it sexual? Mental?
- Is it Zen? What is it? - I don't know.
It happens naturally. I'm not even aware of it.
It's a talent I have. Like your ability to piss people off.
But I'm suffering terribly! I'm suffering terribly!
My baby. Angel face.
What did he do to you?
Why did you have to destroy our relationship? Why?
What have we done to you? We haven't done anything to you.
You just like to hurt people. Yes, you like to hurt people!
- You're a pervert! A vulture! The devil! - Boris.
- Yes? - l'm leaving.
- Alright, darling, I'm coming. - Don't pretend you don't understand.
- I'm leaving you. - You know you can't do that!
Destroy yourself if you want, but I want to live.
- Me too. - Eva!
I've been thinking, you know. This is our last chance.
Let me go. Do it for me.
You're leaving because of him, because you're a good girl...
and you don't want to live a lie. ls that it? Listen.
You can go out with him. He can take you dancing.
She likes to go out and I don't. That scene makes me puke.
- So I get drunk and act stupid. - I had understood that.
- Excuse me. - Listen, I want you to be happy.
Lots of people live like that
Maybe you want the three of us to live together. ls that it?
We're neighbors. It'll happen automatically.
What do you think? He agrees. We'll be the best of friends.
Look how well we get along. He's a good guy.
And he smells good. He's pink like a baby's butt.
Hey, I have an idea. Why don't we rent a house outside of Paris?
You love the countryside. In the evening, we'll sit in the garden.
Under the old tree. We'll talk...
about philosophy, literature, life... anything.
We'll hear you sing in the kitchen doing the dishes and then you join us...
with a bottle of good booze. - Orange juice would be better.
Sure, orange juice.
And the three of us will be sitting there in the dark...
looking at the stars and listening to the sounds of the night.
I was talking bullshit. I was saying anything to keep her.
- I see. That's a pity. - If you touch my wife one more time...
- I'll kill you. - Alright.
And now you go talk to her. Make sure she stays. Quick!
- But what will I say to her? - Whatever you want. Hurry!
You're not going to leave him with me. Take him with you, please.
No, Yann. I must have the courage to leave him. You look after him.
- He'll need you. I entrust him to you. - Thanks, that's nice of you.
- She won't listen. - Eva, I'll kill myself if you leave.
Come on. Try to be reasonable.
- You know I can do it. - That's a very inelegant form of...
emotional blackmail.
Eva, if you leave, I'll kill myself.
- Eva, I'm going to jump. - The idiot's doing it!
- Ah, Eva! - Wait, I'll go up.
I'll park and I'll be there.
Eva!
- Boris! Boris, stop, please! - Stop there or I'll jump.
- Don't come closer! - Boris, stop, I beg you.
- Tell me, did you cheat on me with him? - I made it all up. You forced me.
- I didn't ask you anything. - No, I've never cheated on you, Boris.
- We swore we wouldn't lie to each other. - l've never lied to you. I love you.
- There, she loves you. I love you too. - Promise me we're not over.
- Swear it to me. - I swear, Boris.
That's it. She swore. It's alright now. It's alright.
Come.
You scared me. What happened?
- I don't know. - Are you alright?
- My head's spinning. - Lean on me.
Sit down. Yes, there.
It was a nightmare. He wanted the three of us to live in the countryside.
Drink this, darling. You'll feel better.
- What on earth did you do to him? - lt's none of your business.
- You've done enough to make him unhappy. - Shut up, Marilda.
No, I won't shut up. I'm fed up with the secrecy.
- And I'm fed up with consoling you! - The nightmare's not over.
Wait. Can you tell me what all this means, Boris?
It was when you went to your mother. We don't have to make a big deal of it.
You left me all alone. What do you want me to say?
And you shouldn't have walked around naked in front of me.
- I walked around naked in front of you? - While your jealousy's driving me crazy.
You're a woman and I'm a man. It's different. Explain it to her.
What?
It happens to all guys. It doesn't mean anything.
It doesn't mean they don't love their wives. Am I right?
- Oh, of course. - I don't mean anything?
- She consoles you when I hurt you? - That's just something...
you always say to chicks. Women like to play nurse.
- We're history, do you understand? - Don't start that again!
- I love you! Don't be jealous. - Jealous! I'm not jealous of the nurse.
The nurse? Who does she think she is?
Am I a nurse? Tell me I'm a nurse!
Say that you're fed up with me. Tell me I'm a millstone.
- Be honest for once in your life. - This guy's driving me crazy.
- How do you like the nurse? - What's that?
My new stage costume. I made it myself.
Well, how do you like the nurse?
But I love you!
I love you, Eva!
It's going to end with a murder.
Leave or I'll commit a crime.
- Do you think I'm afraid of your gun? - They're crazy.
- Boris, stay where you are. - l'm not afraid. Shoot!
- Shut up, Boris, shut up. - Please.
Come on, sweetheart, shoot! Do it! Get it all over these idiots!
Come on, I'm asking you to do it! Kill me if you love me!
- The little flame's still burning. - Did you know it was a lighter?
Oh, my baby, my darling. It's over, it's over.
Excuse me, Marilda. I hope you're not too angry with me.
I'm angry with myself.
Go after her. I think she needs a shoulder.
Suits me just fine.
Sir.
- I think you didn't hear me this time. - What? No, why?
- What are you doing here? - I took this by mistake.
- Are you coming? - Natascha?
Of course, I'm so stupid. She told you, didn't she?
- What are you talking about? - She was the only one who knew.
We're going.
- You use everybody, even her. - That's enough.
- Even Natascha. - This is not the place or the time.
We'll talk at home.
- What is there left to say? - The names of our lawyers.
Even better than I thought.
You needed an excuse. Poor man.
Is the dinner on Friday still on?
Can you open the door?
- Isn't she pretty? - Yes.
- Bye, friend. - Bye.
- Can't we have 5 minutes of peace? - She's coming back.
- Ah, the little flame's still burning. - Look. A souvenir.
- The door. - Are you coming, Boris?
I'm coming. I'm coming.
...and THE DOOR